BONUS: Managing stress & overwhelm with life coach Chelsea Connors

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, but when it comes to digestive disorders… every day should be devoted to mental health because the gut and brain are intimately connected! In this episode, Chelsea Connors shares about how to truly manage stress and overwhelm long term, in order to support your gut and live your life fully.

Chelsea Connors is a Certified Life Coach and Former Therapist who supports her clients in releasing anxiety, self-doubt and unhelpful expectations to develop a nourishing relationship with themselves and build more self-confidence so that they can curate a life that feels deeply aligned and fulfilling, even through inevitable ups and downs. Check out her website and her Instagram!

You can check out the podcast on iTunes here, Spotify here, and on YouTube here! Below is a full transcript of the episode if you prefer to read through it or want notes.

Don’t forget to connect to others in The GUT Community, a Facebook group for those with IBS and digestive disorders to support one another and dive deeper into each episode together.

Erin Judge: Welcome back to The Gut Show! I'm so excited because we have a bonus episode with one of my favorite people that I met through Instagram and through this amazing IBS community, and it is Chelsea Connors! We've collaborated quite a bi, I'm so excited to bring her in and have a conversation with all of you, not just with my clients. So Chelsea, I would love for you to introduce yourself to those who are listening so that they can get to know you a little bit better.

Chelsea Connors: Yeah, awesome, thank you for inviting me in! And just have to say it is so mutual, you are absolutely one of my favorite people that I've met on the internet thus far! For anyone that I haven't connected with yet, my name is Chelsea Connors, I am a certified life coach and former psychotherapist. I do a lot of work around supporting my clients in working through self doubt, anxiety, a lot of pressure that can contribute to feeling stuck and overwhelmed in our lives, and for me specifically around mental health and emotional well being, and helping people really find their path back to themselves. And along the way, of course, adding in all of the coping skills and mechanisms and techniques that feel realistic, sustainable and approachable to have a more consistent baseline for supporting their mental health and emotional well being.

Erin Judge: I love that, I love that. And I love your messages, and that's why we connected so well. And I recommend Chelsea and if you guys are not familiar with her, go follow her @chelseaconnors_ for sure once the interview is over, because she has a lot of great information that is so easy to apply with IBS. So I want to jump right into our conversation, it's just really an organic conversation, not planned. I really want to talk about the layers of chronic illness and you know, IBS is kind of in there, whether it's functional or not, but living with chronic illness, and the added stress and overwhelm that can come from the process of getting diagnosed and figuring out what's wrong with me, what's going on, as well as then the overwhelm that comes with that need now to take care of yourself that is non negotiable. So it's a stress, you can't get rid of, its present and you have to deal with it, you're also overwhelmed while they're trying to deal with it. So I'd love to kind of dig in and talk about that a little bit more, since that's one of your sweet spots.

Chelsea Connors: Absolutely! And, yeah, I mean, this idea, and this conversation around overwhelm is one that is so important to me, because I do see it contributing so often to a sense of powerlessness or stagnation or building frustration over time, and sometimes resentment too, I work with a lot of clients who have autoimmune or ongoing health contributing factors to what's impacting their mental health. And it's hard, it's really hard because absolutely, not only are you navigating, like the quote unquote, normal stressors of everyday life, but then you're adding in sometimes what feels like a whole extra job, a whole extra layer that in some ways is helpful, and I heard you talk about this recently, which I really resonated with, in some ways it's helpful because it kind of forces you to learn how to take care of yourself. But other times, that can feel really infuriating, because there may be times where it is a non negotiable that you have to do something to take care of yourself, that somebody else might have a lot more leniency and flexibility around how they care for themselves and what that looks like. And so that can contribute to this sense of overwhelm, because there's so much happening all at the same time. I'd love to hear just what comes up for you around that.

Erin Judge: I mean, what I'm thinking the most is, I mean, there's so much here because you hear this every single day, but you hear about the overwhelming feelings around what's wrong with me? You know, I'm logging all this information. I don't know how to make sense of it. It's changing day by day, I'm trying to talk to my provider about it, they might be listening, they may not be listening, I'm getting tests run, they're coming back negative, they're telling me I shouldn't worry about it. I'm being told also not to stress about this. I don't know what to do. You know, there's so many things I think what comes to mind first is a lot of the communication, especially to those with IBS, and even in health is prevent stress, because stress causes, you know, chronic illness, right? Stress is a component that's into that. And we know that stress is not a great factor to have in place if you're also trying to recover or manage a condition, like stress is not helpful! So we're told to manage to prevent and then we're told we'll get help. But then there's this gray area, I think, of identifying the overwhelm that you have, and maybe even processing the overwhelm, you have to then figure out how to then go into the management. I don't know there's a lot of it just feels like even talking about it out loud. It's a web. It's like, how do we start on time this web?

Chelsea Connors: Yeah, yeah. And even listening to those, right, like, so much of that are like broad stroke statements. But we hear it all the time, like, one of the ones that I hear so often is make sure that you're taking care of yourself. So many people are left with like, well, what does that mean? Or what does that look like? Or how do I do that, and also heal my body, or learn how to work with my body and be a parent and have a job and have friends and sleep? And like, what!? How am I supposed to hold all of these things at once? It's a lot. And in comes the overwhelm, right? And so one of my first kind of like starting points, is maybe to think about what are the pieces of this where there is some flexibility around what is feeling overwhelming. And what I mean by that is, sometimes when we are uncomfortable, or when something is going on in our life that feels really hard or feels really scary or feels really uncertain, we add to that stressor, we add to it in some way, shape, or form, with different structures or rules or timelines that we put around it, right, and that adds to the pressure. So I have to have my IBS under control by a certain date, because I have an event coming up. And then we're like so stressed. Or maybe it is, well, I have to have X, Y or Z figured out before I can do A, B and C and then we're adding to what we're experiencing in the current moment rather than softening and meeting ourselves where we're at. And being more self compassionate or more nourishing to ourselves, or more intuitive in the moment sometimes. And I absolutely am a huge advocate for also being intentional about the future, but sometimes, I think that that actually adds to the overwhelm, rather than meeting yourself where you're at. So I might just start with questioning are there any like rules, stories, structures, timelines that I've added to my plate that are actually increasing my stress levels, rather than being supportive of my end goal?

Erin Judge: Yeah, that's really good. That's interesting to think about, I think we see that a lot in the chronic illness, autoimmune, you know, whatever the label you want to put around it, I think labels don't really work in this space very well. I say chronic illness, even though IBS isn't quite considered an illness. But one thing I see a lot is yes, the I need to do this, by this time, in order to figure this out. Something else I see a lot is, well, I also like I'm supposed to eat healthy, then I'm supposed to exercise this much, and while I'm supposed to, you know, have all of this in place, and it's the reprioritization of like, what do I need to focus on, I can't focus on all of it. I think a lot of times whenever an illness or condition, health, you know, comes into the picture, or maybe it is even work or it's something, you have a kid and it's family, like something comes into the picture that requires more of a priority and requires more of your time and your space and your attention, then those other things that you want to be a priority, they don't really fit as much anymore, is that kind of what you're saying as well, like maybe even adding to those things that you know, the things that don't need to be added there. But also maybe adding in things that aren't actual priorities anymore, and then coping with releasing that even though you may want that to be a priority when your body is not ready for that yet.

Chelsea Connors: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I think that that's kind of a practice of some acceptance sometimes, right? Which again, so often, in the work that I do, sometimes one of the big contributing factors to what increases our stress levels or increases our discomfort or suffering, in some ways, is a lack of acceptance, right? You really grasp for so much control, we want certainty, we want to work harder, get there faster, do more. And the reality is that we can't fight our own bodies. Whether that's from a physical standpoint and how that manifests or a mental emotional standpoint of how much we can hold. And we also cannot prioritize everything all at the same time. So yes to everything that you just reflected back, I think that that is a huge moment to practice some acceptance and to give yourself permission to hit that pause button sometimes and maybe readjust some of those unrealistic expectations that you might be holding of yourself or people around you that are contributing to that sense of overwhelm, and the increasing stress levels in a way that's just not helpful for where you're at right now.

Erin Judge: Yeah, yeah. Which is so much easier said than done. I've done that myself, and anytime I do, I feel like I'm in a puddle on the floor, crying with grief almost of like having to give up things, even good things on both sides. And I know you're a big advocate of stress is not bad, right. Stress is not always a bad thing. And, you know, I think that something that's really difficult to understand sometimes is how things that are maybe good, are also impacting you. And then when you have to set those things aside sometimes in order to prioritize something else, that can almost feel like a sacrifice, but also a moment of grieving that you have to release this thing for later, you know, to come back to, but for right now, it doesn't fit, because you physically can't take it on, you know, which is challenging.

Chelsea Connors: Yeah. And I think it speaks to the intricacy of being human right? Like that we can feel multiple things at one time, and that so much of what we experience is not all or nothing, it is not black or white, there's so much gray in life, and especially from a mental and emotional health perspective. And again, one concept that I really, really like to teach about and work with my clients on is this idea of workability, which stems from acceptance and commitment therapy. But it is the practice of meeting yourself where you are at and saying rather than, like all or nothing, on or off, have to do this, should do that. can't ever do that, right? Like having those really, really powerful polarizing statements, how can we instead invite ourselves into the conversation of well, what feels most supportive and most workable for me in the here and then now. And that often creates a very different conversation, where yes, we're still going to experience loss and grief and confusion sometimes and be that puddle on the floor, but that is of value sometimes as well, because it can also help you learn about what really matters to you, and then you can utilize that information moving forward. There are very few things in in life, I have found, at least in my experience, that are always and forever never known. Right? And so sometimes it's like, how can I remind myself of that, even in these moments are deeply confusing or painful or hard, that this won't last forever and then I can find a way a workable way to integrate what matters to me to help realign with where I'm at right now.

Erin Judge: Yeah, yeah. So it sounds like the workability, one size is not one size fits all, it doesn't have to look like other people. And some people may have a workability that looks very different than others, it might be more complex for some people may be more simplified. But is workability then how you would define I guess, if you could define the statement of “managing stress”, would you consider that to be more of the workability side?

Chelsea Connors: Yes, and no. So another question that's offered through acceptance and commitment therapy that I really like that kind of coincides with this idea of workability is, is this contributing to my suffering or my vitality? And then once we're able to answer that question, or sit with that question, depending on what side we're leaning towards, and it might not be again, it might not be like 100% this way or 100% that way, but when we can feel into that, then we might say, does this feel workable for me right now? Does this feel like something that I can keep on the table or could keep in the conversation or it can keep as part of my life right now, which might be a way of managing stress right? Or not? Is this something that's just not workable for me right now? Like there are no if ands or buts about it, this doesn't fit in what matters to me right now or what I need to be prioritizing, whether that's for myself, for my health, for my relationships, or whatever it might be, and then we can adjust accordingly. And that can be a really great way to explore the how of managing those different stressors is like, where does that fit on your spectrum of suffering to vitality? And obviously, with stressors, we can't always control or impact all of them. But that's why I like the question and the concept of workability, because it gives you more flexibility to find the gray rather than that all or nothing.

Erin Judge: Yes, and then once you find it, is that where then you go deeper into how is my body responding or go deeper into, almost, I guess managing might not be the right word, but navigating the effects of these things that fit right now or I mean, the ones that don't may not be impacting you, but maybe fit or out of your control, then you move into this place of then understanding how your body responds, and how maybe the self care piece of taking care of yourself on the back end? Is that where that begins to fit?

Chelsea Connors: Absolutely. Right, so then it is a practice of, again, kind of meeting yourself where you're at and what that means, right? So once you identify or you ask that question, or apply the concept of workability, then it's about a lot of the emotional work of the practice of acceptance there. And what do I need to allow this to be more okay right now, or to give myself permission to feel that mix of emotion that comes with potentially letting this thing go or starting to live in a different way or eating differently or moving differently or relating to the people around me in a different way, or needing to cut something out of my life right now. Then that, yes, that self care, and emotional intelligence, right of how do you how do you navigate those feelings, and really just normalize them that they're gonna come? It's part of being human, we don't have to run away from the feelings no matter how hard they might be, that it's okay to feel it.

Erin Judge: Absolutely. I always like to say, I mean, that's one of the positives that IBS if you will, you know, if you're grasping a little bit here, but your body will physically respond for you if you don't respond yourself. And it stinks because if you don't respond, your body is going to respond physically, I think one thing that you can learn and discover in IBS or in conditions that impact you, you know, gut brain access conditions, or even autoimmune conditions that do respond so much to stress inside the body, if that's what you want to call it, or even emotional turmoil inside the body, is there is a physical manifestation of that to alert you that, hey, something's going on that we need to deal with. I think one thing that I tend to see there is these past traumas almost that have been developed from that physical manifestation. And then instead of working through, there is a work against like, working against your own self, and there's a lot of like blaming and self hatred, shame, guilt, you know, a lot of frustration towards oneself. And when you unpack it, sometimes it's well, one that wasn't under your control, like yourself wasn't to blame for that situation. Do you see that a lot for one, but do you also believe that what you mentioned at the beginning the acceptance part that like that piece, changes that outcome when you are faced with okay, how do I actually work through this on the back end?

Chelsea Connors: Absolutely. And I think, to what you were just sharing there, right, once we've had a traumatic experience, we oftentimes then create and formulate our stories around what that experience was, what caused it, why it happened, how we contributed to it, so on and so forth. So how we encapsulate that experience can be deeply impactful on how that shows up for us moving forward in our lives, right? So as an example, something that I've experienced, or I've heard from clients before, around IBS is sometimes shame or beating oneself up for It's my fault, because I didn't manage my stress enough and then I had a flare up. I was out and I was in public, and it was embarrassing, and it's my fault. Right, which, to your point, there's so many stressors that we can't control, right? There might have been like a mounting of stressors that piled up and a lot of ways, and sometimes, at least in my experience, and of course, I'm not the expert here, but sometimes with IBS, it's not always, we can't always identify one specific trigger, right? Sometimes it just happens. Sometimes we just have those flare ups. And so my question is often, when you maybe live from that place of shame, or guilt, or blaming yourself, how does that impact how you decide to move forward? Right, and that becomes that battle, right? Where if I am blaming myself, or I am shaming that, or I've taken that traumatic event, and I've made it my fault, in a way, that's not like a learning growth moment of like, oh, I'm learning about my body, and now I know something that I didn't know before, I'm reminded of this thing of how this impacts me in a more like gentle and compassionate way. But I'm instead being really hard on myself and really harsh and critical. it's going to be all that much harder to move forward in a way that's actually supportive or de-escalating that stress level or that sense of overwhelm, and instead, we're going to continue to compound it.

Erin Judge: Yeah. And it'll show up again, the next time the thing happens. So often, and I think I've just recently started realizing and communicating that, you know, it could be trauma. And I think it's something that whenever I've communicated that if like, you know, trauma informed therapy, or it could be helpful to dig into, like, some of these traumatic events of your past with IBS, which, you know, a lot of clients will respond with this communication in some way about how that shouldn't be traumatic, like having a flare. And I think there's this misunderstanding around mental health, there's also this misunderstanding around what trauma truly is. And a lot of people think it has to look one way. And you know, also manifests in, you know, post traumatic stress disorder, whereas with IBS, with any chronic condition, just the symptoms themselves, and even the repetition of symptoms over time can be very traumatic, and then what you mentioned of how you internalize that, and then a story that's built around that, and then how that's been enforced over and over and over again, like what I think a lot of people need to hear, instead of hearing, oh, you need to stop stressing, or you need to, you know, meditate…..you need to dig out some of this trauma and like, really process it. And that's really hard to do, right?

Chelsea Connors: Yeah, it is. And for some of us, it can feel so foreign to not just believe everything that we think sometimes or to get curious with the way that we have encapsulated an experience or a memory or to minimize our suffering, or our experiences, right, and that conversation around personal trauma, and that it really does not look a specific way, and that we all go through that in different ways. throughout our lives, we all experience trauma, and there's no degree at which you have to meet, which is a lot of what I hear in the conversation of like, that wasn't bad enough. And as humans, because we relate to each other, we are automatically comparing each other, and we're comparing our pains. And what that can do sometimes is it minimizes your reality, and then that adds to the shame that you build around your experience. So as much as you can start to uncover or explore what are the experiences or that you are having or have had, that are painful for you or hard or are, fill in the blank with whatever emotion you might be, that you're telling yourself shouldn't impact you the way that they're impacting you. And then get curious around what happens when you don't let yourself experience whatever reaction to it, right, or name it and claim it, That's not to say that we want to let our emotional response like hop in the driver's seat and take us for a ride and we're just going to let our emotions run the show all the time. But we absolutely want to be able to validate and make space for that, and then we get to be discerning and explorative about what we do with that information and whether we keep that with us or how we move forward. But it really more often than not needs to be a both and we don't just brush over it, and then all of a sudden it doesn't exist anymore.

Erin Judge: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And something that I like to say, I don’t know if you would agree with this, I think you would, because I think it probably got this from you in some form or fashion. But creating like space daily for that exploration to happen, even if it doesn't happen at that degree every single day. Because what you're saying is, one, this doesn't really happen alone all the time. Like, sometimes it's helpful to have someone else like help you, because you can't trust what your body's saying all the time. Or maybe it's the, you trust your body, but your body in your mind might be communicating in almost a foreign language a little bit, so it's really hard to translate what does this actually mean, and when you're doing it alone, if there's guilt and shame built up, what I see happen often is like this battle all the time, it's like, that's where you need that other person to come in, and help kind of work through that with you. But then creating the space, and so I tell clients with journaling, and why I'm so passionate about having a journaling practice every day is, it doesn't have to be that intense every single day, but when that moment does strike, if you have that practice, you have that open space to then be able to download, you know those things? Or maybe it is having a coach or having a therapist or having someone on your team that you meet with regularly and that's your space, would you agree with that?

Chelsea Connors: Yes, I absolutely agree with that. And that practice of creating space for yourself, is typically one of the first things that I walk through with my clients in some shape or form, because we are so used to just pushing past things or pushing things down, and then we perpetuate the same behaviors or the same cycle or the same reactions and responses that we're not wanting. Right. So I also am a huge fan of journaling. And yes, to your point, it doesn't have to be this like deep dive elaborate thing every single day, it's not going to be that's not sustainable. That's not realistic. But it's like strengthening a muscle, right? When we get in the practice of slowing down and making space for ourselves. when there is something that bubbles up, then we know how to be there with it. versus if we only journal when it feels like our world is crumbling, or we are only in the practice of slowing down when our body is absolutely forcing us to. Then we're also going to resist that because the only way that we know it is when it feels awful, or when it feels scary or when it feels icky. So yeah, I'm all about creating that practice. And again, some some days, it might be a three to five minute check in with yourself. And then maybe other days, you have 20 minutes, 30 minutes, or specific prompts or specific questions that you're working through, or it is working with a therapist or coach, a dietitian, whatever it might be, right, like we as human beings, we have blinders just because we have biases, we can't know what we don't know. And so I really love the idea. And this is another thing that I feel so passionate about is like we are not meant to just know all of this on our own, we can't, that also contributes to the overwhelm, right? And that idea of prioritization, if you're putting all of the onus on yourself, to know everything, how understandable that you're feeling so overwhelmed, right? We all have different strengths and expertise and education to share for a reason. We can't all be experts or all knowing about everything. So part of being human is recognizing we're meant to be in connection, we're meant to be in community, we're meant to lean on each other. And I often like to think about working with helping professionals and whatever like line of expertise that might be as just that, right. It's like someone offering their really strong muscles, or their skill set or their passion or their expertise or their experiences or combination of all of those things, for you. And something that maybe like you do that in a very different way for different kinds of people in a different realm, right. Like we all have value in what we can offer here. And in the same way, like for me, something I really struggle with sometimes in my business is like the tech side of things. I don't want to sit here and spend hours upon hours upon hours feeling like I have to do it all by myself. And I should know all of this and I need to figure it out, right? Like, no, I'm going to lean on people who love that to help support me or to help me learn the things that I don't know or to help me see like a gap that I'm having. And I know that's a very different reference. But it's very much so the way that I view healing as well is like being with other people is an important part of being in community. It's part of what helps us be human and it's part of what helps us grow and sustain as a collective,

Erin Judge: I agree 100% I know that there's a lot of vulnerability tied to like, obviously, tech is very different than talking about the traumas in your life, even though it's similar, but the traumas and the mental health, emotional health, physical health is so vulnerable, especially when there is a lot going on, that vulnerability and that fear, I think, is almost a positive thing. Like, you should feel that a little bit. And that's why I think it's so important to find professionals like yourself, like myself and my team, and so many incredible professionals that are out there that are one doing the work to understand and know things as much as they can to then share those tools, but also there to be empathetic and there to create those safe spaces to really unpack all of that. And if you don't have a safe space, where you're at, like the journal might not be a safe space. And every time I hear a client, I have clients all the time, tell me, you know, when I open it, I can't work because, you know, I'm diving into all this information and like, I don't know how to deal with it, and I don't know what to do, and I don't know what next steps to take, you know, that's a good thing. That means there's a lot that can be done, you know, there's a lot that we can unpack. I can't, you know, but you can! And so that's a sign that getting help is so necessary. And the beauty of how the system all works is that we get to choose who we bring into our corner and who we bring into our team. And so looking for people who know what they're doing, who understand what you're going through, in a way, whether that be their own experiences, or their, you know, clinical or professional experience with others in that same situation. But then that empathy and the safe space that's created for you so that you can, you know, open up and if you've had bad experiences in the past where there wasn't a safe space, that doesn't mean that there aren't safe spaces out there.

Chelsea Connors: Absolutely. And I think just speak really quickly on your point there about that it does feel really vulnerable and uncomfortable, and sometimes it can be overwhelming. And that is something I hear very, very often is this resistance or this fear to doing something like journaling because of the not knowing like what will come up, what might come through here, am I ready? Do I know how to look at that? Do I know how to hold that? Do I know what to do with that? If and when something does come through or comes up that is hard or is overwhelming, or I really haven't thought about or let myself think about or whatever it might be. So one thing I always like to offer when there is that fear of vulnerability is just as you said, that first thought of like you get to be empowered to find the people that you may not necessarily feel comfortable with from the get go, because the truth of the matter is that this might just feel uncomfortable at first, but that you can see yourself sharing space with and opening up to. And then the second part is that you get to go at your own pace. right. And I think so often, it can feel so daunting or scary or so overwhelming, because we feel like once it comes up, we have to know what to do or how to fix it or what it means or how to control it. And so when this conversation around the fear of vulnerability or not knowing comes through, I always like to just remind anyone that might need it right now that like, it's okay to not always know, and you don't have to rip the band aid off and just like, dive on into the trenches right from the beginning. You get to do it in your own way and at your own pace.

Erin Judge: I love that. And I think everyone should go re-listen to this! If anything sticks out, you should go re-listen a couple of times, because I think there's a lot of information that's packed into a lot of what you said, that is easy to glaze over too, right? It's easy to slip by without fully digesting or to feel overwhelmed by. It's like, that's a lot of work that probably could take years, right, that could take a long time to go through all of that, that process and then it's ongoing. And I think one thing that could be missed is that when you get that support and get the right support, you're also getting really clear tools for each step of that process as you move at your own pace, right. So what you're providing isn't just the talking but it's also really clear strategies and tools that people like myself, for those who might be listening can truly use to take those steps and then grow in their confidence and being able to handle those situations as it gets more in-depth or they start opening up those doors that they're really afraid to open up you know in the beginning.

Chelsea Connors: Absolutely. And it's like, and I imagine that you do something similar with your clients, it's like, providing someone with a toolbox that they then own and they get to pull from and they know, kind of like what tools fit when. And that's ongoing, and that sticks with them for as long as it serves them, right. And, yeah, I think I do the same type of things in the work that I do and with my clients that like that the goal isn't the quote, unquote, end destination, right, it's more so providing you helping you find and empower you to utilize the tools, support, resources, ways of being with yourself that will stick with you and will support you long term.

Erin Judge: Yeah, which is way more valuable. I always say this, whenever people come to me and they want like a meal plan, or want this very specific, one size fits all, like, just tell me the exact steps to do it's like, well, that's not actually going to help you long term, like, what helps is one understanding all the tools that you can use, and then knowing what tools you want to use, and when, and then how they do fit, like you mentioned differently, which is more of the intuition. And when you learn how to be with yourself, be with yourself in a kind, compassionate, you know, caring way, which is a different thing, and then be with yourself in that way, while also giving yourself tools and using tools when you need different things like that is where I think the magic happens of anything around health, whether that be physical, social, mental, emotional, spiritual, you know, every aspect of health, it's be with yourself, kind and compassionate, caring way, which is self care, you cannot self care if it's not real care, right? If you don't know how to care with yourself, or if you're not with yourself, I always laugh whenever we talked about that of like, taking a bath with epsom salt, and a candle, it's going to do nothing, if you're not being present with yourself, right? It's not the secret and going for a massage, it's not going to help if you're not present with yourself. Like if that's just a distraction, which a lot of times the work that you talked about that self care, and it doesn't feel good, it feels hard, challenging and uncomfortable, and it might not feel good for a while, but that's what your body needs. And so you have to learn those different steps, and that takes time. But it's almost empowering to know that there is time, there's tools along the way, and the end result is a lifetime of being able to be with yourself every day and grasp the tools that you need, and continue to grow and that and develop your own tools, you know, as you see the need arise. And I think that's something that is not talked about because it's not sexy, it's not superfood. It's not a quick fix, it's not easy, but it does the long term work, right gets you to the destination, quote, unquote, of a lifetime, like what you want, whether that be 20 years, two days, like 50 years, 100 years, like whatever that actually looks like for you like that's your destination is that long term, rest of your life that you're living, which I think is so powerful. That's why I always recommend that clients get like, if you want the power team when you're looking at IBS or any condition that's out there really, there's a few that only require maybe one thing, typically those aren't going to be like chronic conditions. I think any chronic condition, like you have to have support for your mental health and emotional health. You have to have support socially. You have to have a supportive social network and community and I mean, that's part of mental and emotional them knowing how to navigate that you have to have support physically, which can have different aspects to that. And having a team allows you to get so much further and so much further without that overwhelm that you talked about. Because you have other people carrying that load with you, which is really important.

Chelsea Connors: yeah, I couldn't agree more with everything that you just spoke to, and I think it really shares about why you and I tend to be so aligned and really having this holistic perspective around well being and around health, right? Because we don't live in silos we are each of us, one whole being and so all of the different ways that we engage and interact in the world or with ourselves. They're going to contribute to what we experience and how we feel and who we are and who we become, and so I am all aboard having a team and building that support network, and all of those beautiful ways that you mentioned, so that when life feels really hard or when life feels really heavy or sticky or confusing, We don't then compound that with a story or pressure to figure it all out by ourselves. And then maybe grasping for those quick fixes, which I heard you describe, right? Like, what we see other people doing, whether it's a bath or a massage or whatever it may be, but it doesn't matter because it's not coming rooted from you, and what is going to be most supportive of you. And so I think that that is often way, way, way more important. It doesn't matter what it looks like, it doesn't matter what it is, what matters is how it supports you and how it feels for you and your body and your heart and your soul. And nobody can really know that except for you.

Erin Judge: Yeah, yeah, I 100% agree. IBS is that way too, and that's why one of frustration around it and a lot of confusion and doubt in even healthcare doubt in the way that things worked outside of you know what they tried, because it may not have been the right thing or done in the right way for your body based on your needs, or layered in the right way. Like there's so much that can happen. And while that can feel so overwhelming, it's empowering, when you have that team that's helping you fill in those gaps, because you figure it out. And then you're able to be with your body, and it's the best feeling even if you're in the middle of a flare, it's the best feeling to know those layers for yourself, know what to do know how to respond, know how to communicate, know how to just be. And it's so much easier said than done. And I think that's where we have to have these conversations. And then people need to know that resources are available. So for you, I mean, we could talk about this all day, I think it's time we wrap up a little bit. So again, I highly recommend everyone follow Chelsea, she has these conversations all the time on Instagram, and her newsletter is awesome. And you'll get a lot of great tools. If you're listening, and you're really, really vibing with Chelsea, and you think like, hey, I think that we would make a good fit Chelsea, how would someone reach out to you or work with you? Or what would that look like?

Chelsea Connors: Yeah, absolutely. And so I have a couple of different offerings for how I support people, one of which is my program called foundations of you coaching program, which is a six month program, and it's a blend between some self paced learning, and live group coaching support, because like I was just describing, we're all different human beings, we are all one whole person. And so while yes, we can take in information, and learning is super helpful., learning how to apply it specifically to your needs, and your life and your body and your relationships is so important. And so that's why we have this ongoing live component to this program called foundations of you, which really helps you unpack the self doubt, the anxiety, the overwhelm that is maybe a contributing factor to how you're feeling to step further into self-understanding, self-awareness, acceptance, self-trust, and then utilizing that to help empower you to then align your life accordingly. Right. And that is the practice very often of managing your stress, right, of learning to accept where you're at, and be your best self, even with imperfection, which we all have, and we all experience in our own different ways. Yeah, so that's one of my biggest offerings right now. And then I also do private coaching. So if you are someone who feels like it would be better to be in more of a one on one capacity, I definitely would welcome you into exploring that option as well, and I have a different package for what that looks like. And if you're feeling unsure of what the best path forward is, I always offer a free connection call so that we can explore different options and see what might feel best for you.

Erin Judge: And then you know, if you need other resources, reach out to myself or Chelsea on Instagram, we might not get to things quickly, but I know that I can speak for Chelsea on this too, we want to make sure you get the resources that you need as much as we can. So just reach out if you're looking for another type of referral or resource and we're happy to do what we can to try to help get you connected so that you can get those resources and tools that you need. So thank you so much, Chelsea. I hope that you guys enjoyed this conversation! Again, go back, re-watch re-listen and dive deeper into some of the conversation that we've had. And I think the challenge from this conversation is allowing yourself to almost rewire some of those thoughts around what overwhelm means around stress management around trauma and experiences and self-care and just those layers of things that maybe have gotten mixed up. Just taking some time to allow yourself to be open to rethinking a bit, and then seeking out the next step that makes sense for you. Whether that be Chelsea or another resource that's out there, a therapist, whoever it might be, so that you can start unpacking that and get a lot out of your life and get those tools to help you really make sense of things. So thank you for tuning in. Hope you enjoyed this and we'll see you on the next episode!