Episode 17: How to advocate for yourself with healthcare providers

Do you feel like your healthcare providers aren’t listening to you? Do you want to stick up for yourself, but aren’t sure how?

This episode will give you the strategies to use with your providers so you can get the most from your appointments, get high quality care, and feel confident in taking control of your healthcare plan.

You can check out the podcast on iTunes here, Spotify here, and on YouTube here! Below is a full transcript of the episode if you prefer to read through it or want notes.

Don’t forget to connect to others in The GUT Community, a Facebook group for those with IBS and digestive disorders to support one another and dive deeper into each episode together.

Welcome back to The Gut Show! I'm your host, Erin, and I am really excited about today's conversation, because it is a topic that I have conversations about on Instagram and with my clients all the time, and that topic is how to advocate for yourself with your health care providers!

So I want you to think back to some of your past experiences with providers, whether that be your doctor, therapist, nutritionist, whoever, and think about how that experience went for you. Likely you scheduled that appointment in advance, maybe waited a long period of time, especially in the specialists that you were going to. You were a little nervous but also excited because you thought, okay, I have this problem, I'm about to get a solution and go into the professional. And then when you get in the in the office, not only are you waiting there, but when you start having that conversation with the provider, you feel stuck, you don't feel heard, or maybe you felt like they talked over you, that they dismissed you, that they didn't truly seem to listen to what you were saying.

If you had that experience, then it can be really challenging, but you're not alone. And if that is you, then today's episode is going to give you some tools to avoid that, but also be able to handle that in the moment, so that you can get that respect from your providers that you deserve. So I want to be really clear about you know what this is intended to do. I am a health care provider, I love great health care providers, I love really good doctors and other, you know, professionals that help my clients. And so this is not anti-doctor or anti-provider. A lot of times this disconnect, and it can be due to a lot of different factors that you know the provider themselves, they're not always to blame for it. Some of it kind of comes down to the healthcare system and the fact that a lot of providers don't have time, and they're seeing so many different people. And there are ways where you know, we as clients can actually come in and prepare. There's also the responsibility of the providers to show each client and patient respect, which I think has gotten lost a lot of times, especially in, you know, a busy clinic or those types of settings. And so simply reminding them and coming back to that place on square one, as well as looking for the right providers on the front end, can help kind of bring this back together so that you get the best experience possible because experiences with your providers do make a big difference in your health long term.

You may have gotten your diagnosis, and maybe you've gotten a plan together, but a lot of times if you had a bad experience with a doctor, and you're not really that excited to ever go back, there could be other markers of other conditions or just even some like health markers that are your body's way of communicating that something's a bit off that you might miss. And when it comes to GI with the rise of you know, colon cancer and other conditions, we want to make sure that we are not closing the door on those opportunities to see things in advance so that you can live a long healthy life. Right?

Okay, so let's dive into how to truly advocate for yourself. And so it starts with what you do on the front end, and how you actually find the provider. So one thing that I like to tell my clients is to do some research into the different providers. If you're going through your insurance, like the different providers in your insurance company, and start with the basic research of looking at reviews, look at their website, what are they about and try to see what their specialties really are. See what other people have had to say about them. And this isn't a you know, one stop shop. Some people don't say great things on the internet for different reasons, so you know, just kind of getting an overview of like, what are people saying? And what do they think about this provider?

If you're in like Facebook groups connected to people in your area, or you have like a well rounded network in your area, you can also ask, hey, has anyone had an experience with this provider and just see what they thought about it because that can be really helpful to hear what others have to say. And you can get a feel for someone based on that. So you're looking for things like I felt heard, I felt seen. I felt like the doctor really took the time to listen to me, those are the types of things that you want to look for. And any red flags that maybe are the past experience you've had that wasn't so great, you want to make sure that you are excluding them.

The second step is to then call the clinic or wherever you will be scheduling. So instead of just scheduling online, try calling the clinic and just vet them out. Ask them a few questions. This is a great time to say hey, you know what is your typical experience with those with IBS. How much time will I get with the doctor? Are you open to doing you know this type of test if that's exactly what you're looking for? Do you guys typically provide referrals or other resources, whenever we're creating treatment plans, just kind of ask them some questions and see how they respond. And if they're short or not very responsive, or not really taking the conversation seriously, that could be a sign that that might not be the place to go versus if they are like really taking the time answering your questions, that could be a good sign.

The culture of an entire clinic does kind of reflect the leaders of that clinic. And if you're looking at a specific provider, and it's their clinic, or they're one of the top people in the clinic, seeing how those under them, treat you on the phone and how they interact with their patients, that's actually a pretty good indicator of how that provider might respond. Not always, but it's a good point and a good place to go. And this is also really great if you have other needs that you want to make sure that are addressed. So you can say, how do you handle gender language if that's an issue that's concerning for you, or how do you handle LGBTQ needs on top of this? Or how would you handle my desire for x in regards to z? Right? You can ask those questions. How do you handle hormonal health? If you want to work with a woman, you can say, you know, I prefer seeing a female practitioner, is that possible, or I prefer seeing a black professional is that is that possible, you can ask those questions. Really advocate for it on the front end, and if it doesn't feel right, move on to the next person. This vetting out process on the front end, it can take some time, it's worth it, it'll save you time in the long run, because you're more likely to then be able to be paired with the right person versus feeling like you have to go from person to person to person and spend a lot of time energy and money.

So now you're at the doctor's office, right? And it's time for you to have the appointment that you have been waiting for, here are a few things that we can do to make sure that it goes well. So on the front end, we were we were clear about who we wanted to work with, and we scheduled that, right? Number two is really preparing ahead of time with your history and what you want to talk about. So as you walk through the office door, you want to have that in your hand, so that any nerves that come up, maybe any intimidation of the doctor going quickly, or whatever happened, you know it with your intake, whatever happened on your drive over, none of that gets in your way from really fulfilling the purpose that you had, whenever you came in.

We want to start with your history when you do this, and those who have been dealing with IBS, gut issues, chronic illness, there might be a pretty long history that is very easy to get missed, even in, you know a file that they may already have. So you want to write out important dates, timelines, any testing that's been done, other providers that you've worked with, it's really helpful to write out what treatment things you've tried even on your own, and don't feel ashamed here, if you've done things that maybe aren't fully recommended, right? It's okay to write those down, the more you can be transparent and communicate how your body responded to those different things, the more help they're going to be able to provide for you.

In addition to your history, you also want to write some details about your struggles that you are currently having. So when we're looking at GI, what I recommend is writing down the exact symptoms you have, truly describing how severe they are, not just saying they're really bad, or they're kind of bad, you know, brushing it off. So do you really want to maybe create a scale of zero to 10 and write about how often you know, it's a 10 versus an eight, that can be helpful just to communicate that language to the provider, and then it can be helpful to write out details of those symptoms. So if you have blood in the stool, write it down. If there's discomfort whenever you have a bowel movement, write it down, like really write down a lot of the different characteristics of your symptoms. Take pictures, even if you can of what your body looks like whenever you're bloated, what the stool looks like whenever you're trying to describe what it is, like take a picture. Yes, it can be a lot. Again, the more of those details that you can communicate and show the provider, the faster they're going to be able to put together a plan, do the right testing and really get on the same page as you. They may not be able to read into those details in that short conversation, and they may not even think to ask those follow-up questions, so when you write it down on the front end, it lets you get further faster together.

And then the last thing that you want to write down is what your goals are and like really specific questions that you have. You've waited this period of time to speak to this provider, so don't forget to write down you know, this is what I prefer. And if you are someone who maybe you prefer a holistic route versus medication to start, write that down. If you prefer medication and if you want to start with medication, write it down. If you prefer a certain referral, write it down, make sure you write down kind of what your desires are, so that you have that as a security, or you can hand it to them and let them know, to just feel more confident in it. If you have any specific questions, don't leave it up to the moment to remember, you might forget as you're getting again, in the mix of it all. So write those specific questions down so that you can remember that oh, yeah, I wanted to ask this question while I have your time.

The next thing that you want to do is whenever you're having that conversation, and the provider tells you something, if you don't understand, ask why for more clarity. Do not feel like it's wrong to ask why, it's actually your choice to get to ask why, and you should never have to do anything for your health that you are not fully aware of. and fully in control of right? You have autonomy in your healthcare decisions, your provider is there is a guide, they're there to teach you, they're there to educate you, and they're there to present you with the options that are out there, and the research behind them. It's your job to decide what you do, right? And so if you're not sure why certain test is being done, ask. If you're not sure about a word they use, ask. If you're not sure about a statement or a condition that they are leaning towards, ask. Ask why. That's gonna save you a lot of time.

Next is to ask for all possible options to be able to choose. So let's say, you know, you're rushing through and the provider says, oh, I'm going to prescribe this medication and it can help with this and move on. Take a step back, ask why, and then say, are there other options that can also do this so that I can choose which one maybe you know, suits the best with me that I may prefer? Are there other options on the table that I can go with? If they're talking about testings, are there other options for this? Sometimes there may not be, but sometimes there are, sso it's important to communicate, hey, you know, I actually would like to know their options. Not everyone wants to know all of the options, so the provider may actually be thinking that they're doing a service by just providing one option to make it more simple for you. But if you do want more options, ask what other options are there for me?

I see this a lot with IBS, where a lot of clients will come to me, or I'll have conversations on Instagram, and they'll communicate, you know, I was working with a doctor or this other provider, who said, there's nothing else they can do for me. It's rarely ever true. There's usually other things, maybe it's a referral. And if that's something that's coming up, or you feel like there's a blocking point, then just ask, hey, what other options are there for me? What other options do I have? And if they're coming up short, say you know, I don't know if that's true, like, are there other providers that can provide me those options, and really dig into that.

The next kind thing that kind of goes along with that is to ask for referrals and resources. If something's recommended, and you are feeling like, okay, I could really use help with this, then ask for referrals, ask for resources. Another thing that I hear often that really breaks my heart as a dietitian, is a lot of people will start working with me, and they'll say, yeah, my doctor recommended this and they said that I didn't need a dietician, that that wasn't necessary. Communicate your desire to have that guidance, whether it be a dietician or therapist, or a physical therapist, if something is recommended that you feel like you could use extra support on, if you don't know how to implement it strongly and confidently, you're not going to get the benefit of that recommendation, right? So just communicate, hey, do you have any referrals or resources for this that will help me out? And if what's given to you is, you know, go search Google or here's a sheet of paper, it's okay to say, you know, I don't think that this is enough for me, I want to make sure I can do this well, can you please provide a referral or is there a place I can look to get a referral for someone that can help me do this well. And that is very true when it comes to stress management, mental health, or even diet or exercise even, it's really important to ask for those referrals and just communicate your desire for them.

And then resources, if you are asking why about you know, medications or a treatment plan or a test that's coming up or whatever it may be, it's also okay to ask, hey, do you have any resources like is there a study that I can read, is there more information on this medication that I can go over just to make sure that like, I'm okay with the side effects and you know all the potential pieces of it, I really want to understand this before I move forward. Are there any resources available that can help me implement this strategy that you recommended? It is okay to ask, and it is their job to provide those resources for you. And if you didn't get them, it's also okay to call back to the clinic and say, hey, I'm struggling with this, can I have a referral or a resource to help support me as I work through this recommendation that was given to me? That shows that you are in the game, and you're asking them to meet you where you are so you can work as a team, and you're inviting new players into the team, which is helpful.

And then the last tip is to follow up. If you are, let's say you are put on like a strategy, whether that be a medication, a supplement, a diet protocol, whatever it may be with a provider, follow up. They may not always follow up with you, so take the initiative to follow up and ask those questions of, what should I be noticing? When do I stop this? When do I move forward with this? What's my next step? I'm not noticing results. should I be yet or should I do something different? Actually think I'm having a side effects, shat do I do about that? What's our plan for you know, reducing this medication or is this something that we're going to do long term? What am I looking for? When do we follow up together to make sure that this plan is actually effective? Follow up so that you are getting that continuity of care and not feeling like you're kind of stuck in the outskirts kind of doing it all on your own.

So those are great steps and tips if you're looking for okay, how do I advocate for myself on the front end? Now let's talk a little bit about what to do when you are disrespected. So this is really tricky, because not all providers are going to respond in the right way. Sometimes they're just having a bad day, and that happens. Remember what our goal is here is not to fight, we're not about combating, right, we're not even there to embarrass, what we want to do is bring them back to hey, remember, you took an oath for my health too like, you're here because you care about me, like you care about your patients, most people in healthcare truly do. But they might be overworked, they might be tired, they might have had a bad day. And that's okay, what's not okay is that that experience just ends with that moment that was reflective of their bad day, that then leads to you not getting the care that you also deserve.

So here are some things that you can do if you felt like you've been disrespected, you're not being listened to, whatever it may be. You can state the feeling and what you are experiencing. So it's okay to say, hey, you know, right now, like, I'm really feeling like you're not listening to me, and that experience for me makes me feel like I'm isolated, or that I'm not actually getting the care that I need. I feel that you are kind of talking over me and that experience for me feels like you're not actually listening, and we're not going to get to the root of what's going on together. What I'm feeling is that you're not providing the referrals that I'm asking for and what I'm experiencing is overwhelm about trying to do this all on my own, like, really communicate what the feeling is, and your experience in that feeling, and make it kind of not you centered, like, you aren't doing this, you know, sometimes it's like, I feel like I'm not being heard or like, I feel like you're not really connecting, you know, we're not connecting. And then your experience of like, this is making me feel unexperienced this and this way less about, you're a bad doctor, right? We don't want to say that because that's combative. We want something that's constructive to kind of get us a step further.

Another thing is to ask for ask if they prefer another doctor or provider to take over. This is a great example if someone's kind of throwing up their hands, like, I don't know what you want me to do, then simply saying, hey, is there another provider that would be able to take over my care so I can move forward? That's definitely fine to ask. You can also ask for another provider just for a second opinion. You can say hey, I'm actually not happy with the the plan that we have in place, to me this does it feel like it aligns with what I communicated that I wanted. Is there another provider that can take over my care so that I can make sure that I'm getting that second opinion? You can ask for your chart to find someone who will listen and provide better care. So this is usually okay, like you're still not listening, we're really disconnecting, I'm not having a good experience. You can say hey, you know thank you or not for the care that you've provided so far, I don't feel like this is actually going to move me forward like I need to be, can I please have my chart and the details of the care you've provided so far, and I'm going to go find someone who's going to listen and provide better care for me. That's a good thing to say.

And then last case resort, when it's just really like disrespect after disrespect, if you feel like you've completely been invalidated, and nothing that you've communicated is getting across, then you want to tell the office manager about your experience and file a complaint if necessary. As health care professionals, we're held to code of ethics that are all about putting our patients first. And if you are requesting, you know, to be heard, if you're requesting specific considerations, and we're not really getting on the same team as you, a lot of times that can go against our code of ethics. This isn't something we want to do to again, ruin someone's life, or leave a bad Yelp review, you know, on day one, but it is about sticking up for yourself, as well as the other people that are coming after you, and just communicating that to the people who are, you know, going to make a difference in that clinic. And again, we don't want that to turn into like they need to be fired, the goal would be okay, I think they need more training to be able to serve their patients, well, like maybe there are some systems in place that aren't helping with client care, like the hours that providers are working or something like that, and so communicate that and address that, if that needs to happen. And it is okay to do that.

It's also okay to celebrate a provider that does really well, leave them a review. Remember, other people are going to be looking at those, and communicate that to the office manager and, you know, file a celebration versus a complaint, and really lift up those providers that are doing well, or maybe even changing with you like someone maybe comes in and they aren't connected and then as you kind of advocate for your care in that moment, they respond like communicate that too because that will help us lift up the providers that are doing a great job so that they're elevated, and they're seeing more people and others are becoming you know, in tune with them, because that's what we want more than anything.

So I hope this was a helpful conversation! Over in The Gut Community on Facebook we are actually going to talk about this today. So we're going to talk about, you know, past experiences you've had in ways that maybe in the past that you could have advocated differently, for hopefully a different result, as well as things that maybe we can do in the future and in your next step with whatever provider is coming next, what steps you're going to take to advocate for your care and really, you know, stick up for yourself and take full control of your health care. So join us in The Gut Community, join that conversation. And if you have any benefit from this episode, please let me know take a screenshot, put it on Instagram, you know, tag me in the story, tell me what it meant for you, what you took away from it so that I can celebrate with you or just message me and let me know if you want to do that privately, because I want to make sure that you found value in this as much as I found value in sharing it. So I'll see you on the next episode and in The Gut Community!