Episode 22: Season Wrap Up: Conversation with Erin around positivity

We are wrapping up season 2 of The Gut Show with a friend to friend conversation, where Erin shares a bit of her personal journey with IBS and how getting on the team with her body made a huge difference in your perspective.

The episode also wraps up with a look into what you can expect from season 3!

You can check out the podcast on iTunes here, Spotify here, and on YouTube here! Below is a full transcript of the episode if you prefer to read through it or want notes.

Don’t forget to connect to others in The GUT Community, a Facebook group for those with IBS and digestive disorders to support one another and dive deeper into each episode together.

Welcome to the final episode of season two of The Gut Show! This season, we rebranded our podcast and YouTube channel with the name The Gut Show, which has been so exciting! We've been able to build a community on Facebook at The Gut Community, and we've been able to grow our little Instagram community to encourage one another and also build stronger relationships between the two of us.

So for the final episode, I want to just have a fun little chat, like to friends on a phone call, or maybe you're in the room with me if you're on YouTube, and and talk about a few things that have been on my mind as I've gone through this season of the podcast, as well as the season of my life and my business and the clients that have come across our table and in our company. Later I'll give you a little look into what will come in season three, because we're not done, we're just taking a little break between seasons. Season three is going to have a new little twist to it that I think will be really exciting for you all!

So let's talk about where we're at in terms of where Gutivate is at right now, which is my business and how we serve our clients, and where I'm at in my own journey with IBS and some things that I've been thinking about over the last few months.

At Gutivate, our team is growing! We are working hard to give our clients the very best programs we can possibly give them, and because of the growth we've seen in our team, we've launched a course, which is the Master Method Foundations course, click the link if you're looking for a place to start, or you just need to update your foundations. These are some core lifestyle diet strategies that we use before any restriction is needed.

For those who are dealing with IBS or other digestive issues, we were able to launch that, we're revamping what we offer in our group to provide a more more time and space to really work through the strategies that we have, as well as more support from our team. And we are kind of revamping but also growing our one to one offerings, and that is our high touch hand in hand care, where you get to work one on one with a dietitian for a longer period of time to really work through the issues that you're dealing with and making sure that you are getting the very best care moving forward.

So all of that is has been a part of our company for a while. But it's something that we are able now to just elevate based on the results that we've gotten from our many clients, as well as what we've heard from you guys of what you're looking for in care. So if you're interested in any of that, schedule a consult with me, and we can chat!

Moving on to what I'm thinking about these days….I've been thinking so much about perspective lately. I share this quite often and it's something that my clients hear a lot, and if you follow me on Instagram, you may hear this fairly often. But you know, living with IBS for over 20 years, so it's been 20 years since I've been diagnosed, and what I've found is that I get to choose if I'm going to let my past experiences with IBS define me for the rest of my life only in one kind of viewpoint from one perspective, which is the hard moments, or I can choose to acknowledge those hard moments, and also learn from those experiences that I've had and look at things from a different perspective.

I'm very, very passionate about talking about this, especially those who are dealing with digestive disorders. And when whenever I say you're looking at something from a new perspective, it's not just about finding the positive. It's not just about looking at it with you know, bright colored eyes, but it's truly practicing self compassion and the radical kind of acceptance and awareness in what life you're living and and and what your body is teaching you and how that then influences what you do moving forward.

So what do I mean by this? Whenever we're thinking about self compassion, which is a practice that we teach in our in our programs, developed by Kristin Neff. What self compassion is not? It's not a ignore every negative thing in your life, pretend that everything's okay and just love your body. I think that's what we think about when we're like, look at the, you know, the positive, what are your gratitude’s? You know, how can you show appreciation for your body, sometimes there's this viewpoint that that means that we have to just throw out any negative, and put a big band-aid on it a positive, and just love the body, love the body, love the body.

That's not sustainable and nor is that actually helpful because those other things, those hard moments of life, what we refer to, as you know, quote, unquote, the negatives, those are the difficult things, those thoughts, those feelings, they're still reality, and you can't ignore reality, because that's not awareness, that's actually a lack of awareness and that does catch up, because the body has this way of holding on to those things.

Your brain can sometimes override for a short amount of time, but your body will catch up and those feelings and thoughts and experiences that you've had, like it's going to come out, and it will be expressed, and so we don't do that that's not what this is. What self compassion is, is recognizing those things, like actually recognizing and expressing, being aware of them and being okay with sitting with them. So being okay with sitting with those thoughts in those experiences, but instead of sitting with them, and either beating ourselves up, beating our bodies up, pushing ourselves down, or literally slapping the same band-aid of instead of actually like working through it, processing it, expressing it, trying to push it down to where it it's still impacting you, or digging yourself in the ground to a place where that's all you want to see and all you choose to see, self compassion actually brings in the compassion piece, which is being kind, like radical kindness to yourself.

So actually acknowledging what's happening, acknowledging, expressing, and then showing yourself kindness, as you acknowledge, and you express those things. And then the other side of it for me, and what I've learned in my life, is that whenever I can acknowledge and accept and express, and then whenever I can show myself kindness, then I find that there's a lot that I am so proud of my body for. There's a lot that I begin to learn, that's whenever I got to the place where I could share my story with others and encourage them and lift them up.

That's where I got to the place that I could use my experiences that were not easy and I could turn it into helping those who are also dealing with it. That's where I learned the resilience that my body has that even though you know, things are really tough, that shouldn't be, I've learned a lot of resilience. And my body's pretty, pretty incredible for dealing with a lot of those things.

I've learned that my body needs certain things through me and while it is true that it may not be fair, that my body needs things to a degree that others may not, because of you know, IBS and my past my history with digestive disorders myself, it's amazing that my body is able to communicate that to me, and I'm proud that I'm able to work with my body to give my body those things.

I don't like look past the fact that I have days that are life giving, that I'm able to go out and do things because I remember and I acknowledge the moment that I was not able to do that. And in those moments that are still that, those moments that are still really hard, I know that's not my entire identity, and that it's a piece of it.

There's also other pieces of it that I also acknowledge and hold space for. And I've been talking about this for a long time. And it's something I've committed to if you follow me on social media, you know I don't stay in the life is terrible/living with IBS is the worst thing in the world. Like, I don't stay there as I talk about things in a different light mostly to be a different voice, because I think there's value in having those voices in our community and the one thing that has come across that is a struggle and something that you know I'm being just open with you guys about is this idea of toxic positivity.

Toxic positivity if you're not aware is that band-aid slap, it's the well, you should be grateful that you're still alive. So it's this valuing or taking away value from your true experiences, and telling you to just be okay, or be happy, or be happy that you're breathing, that is toxic positivity. It's toxic, because it doesn't value your life in you as a person, and your experiences are part of you as a person. And they may not be the most amazing thing that you want to show off to the entire world, but they're part of you.

You may not have chosen them, but they're part of you. And so it's that devalues that which means it takes away the person side of it, right? It takes away you as a person. Toxic positivity doesn't actually lead to expression and grieving and feeling and being aware of those other pieces. There's also a such thing, in my opinion, my mind, as toxic negativity. And I say this with a lot of conviction, this is something I've processed over and over because I don't want to devalue those who are struggling with chronic illness.

Because I've lived it. I've seen it. And all of those experiences, every thought you've had, every emotion that you've had, every experience you've had, even when others have told you that it wasn't valid enough, I validate it because I get it. And it was true for you. It's true, no matter what, right, it's your experience.

Toxic negativity is saying in this place of well, because of this piece, nothing is valuable. And what that actually does is, especially in the world of IBS or chronic illness, is when we say you don't have to be happy that you have IBS, but whenever you treat IBS, like it is this enemy that has come out to get you in, it's something that you just absolutely hate about yourself, like, because it's part of your body, that's an attack against yourself, there's no room for self compassion, in a place of toxic negativity.

What is healthy is the space for both, and what I believe, and what I've experienced is holding space for both. And I know that not everyone will agree this, and this feels like such a controversial thing to talk about, which I think is silly. And if you know me, like I am not a bubbly person or the biggest optimist that there is, I'm actually a pretty pragmatic like analytical person, like I want to think through, you know, all the pieces like, you know, I have to have the all the pieces together like to see something come to light.

I'm not someone who just wants to feel happy emotions all the time. That's just, that's not truly me. But what I do want is I want to challenge the thoughts that I have. And I want to I want to be kind to my body because I want to be on the same team as my body, because at the end of the day, no matter what has happened in my life, no matter what is thrown at me that it was in or out of my control, I have my body, I am in my body, and I have myself.

And even on those days where my body is feels like it's working against me. I'm in my body and I have my body. Do I love everything about it? No. Am I happy about my body every single day? No, I'm not. Am I frustrated with my body sometimes? Absolutely.

What I do though, is instead of beating my body up in that frustration, is I shift to communication with myself. And then I say this out loud. This is something that I practice personally in a verbal way, because for me, that's one of the best ways that I can process this.

I've seen people do this through journaling. But one thing that I'll do, and the way that I hold space for both, is I say, you know, okay, buddy, I'm having a hard time. I'm frustrated by this symptom. I'm feeling frustrated that I'm bloated today and that you know, that's impacting the clothes that I'm going to wear, I'm frustrated that I haven't had my great bowel movement yet, and that is going to impact how comfortable I feel for the rest of the day while I'm out.

I'm frustrated that when I travel, like you slow down a bit, I'm frustrated. And that's very honest and true, I am frustrated. And this next sentence, I'm on your side. And even though I am frustrated right now, I'm choosing to work with you. As we move forward, I'm not going to ignore the fact that I feel the way I feel. I'm going to express it, I'm also going to be here to be on your side and give you what you need. Even if it still annoys me the entire time, I treat my body like my best friend and like my closest relationship, because most of my life has been marked by my body not working in the way that it should have been working in.

My body went through a lot of self hate. My body dealt with a lot of self sabotage, and even some harmful behaviors of beating myself up, restricting intake, bingeing on food, over exercising, trying to put myself in clothes that weren't comfortable, you know, depression that I refuse to get out of it with just solchen.

I did that for so many years for the majority of my life. So right now, I choose to be on the team with my body. Because even though my body isn't the greatest in the world are exactly where I want it to be, one of those expectations may not be right, you know, those that may not line up with what is supposed to be happening. But I'm still choosing to give my body compassion because at the end of the day, my body is still with me. It's not always with me in the greatest way, but it is still with me. And I'm still with it.

And I decide and choose to honor and respect my body and work with it. And I don't, you know, I'm a dietician, I'm not a psychologist. And this is something that I didn't have anyone walk me through this, this is something that I just learned on my own, because I got to a point where it was dark, it was hard. It's hard to even talk about that without tearing up.

Because I remember, I remember those moments, I remember crying on the floor, I remember being in so much pain, I remember the hate that I had towards myself, I remember those moments. And I don't discount them. But I do hold space to remember them fully, and also find gratitude that my body I stayed with myself, I gave myself a chance my body stayed with me. And now the compassion and the understanding that I have for others that are dealing with certain things and similar situations is at a level where it would have never been without the experiences that I went through.

And you may not agree with that. And that's okay. You may be in those that dark place right now where you feel like no one understands where you feel like, you know, every day is controlled by what's going on in your body by the condition that you may be living with. You may feel like your body is betrayed you you may feel like, you know, like this is the end of it like that there's there's not a lot of hope, because you had a life that now looks completely different because of your gut.

And I want to say I've been there and I hear you and I wish I could just sit with you in that because I would and my encouragement is not for you to try to ignore that. My encouragement is not for you to hear what I'm saying and think that you have to put on this fake positivity.

My encouragement is not that you have to eat, say that you're grateful for the experience you're dealing with right now. My encouragement is to be with yourself to express where you're at, and as you get resources and you get help you get guidance, and you bring people into that team you have with yourself, if your experiences are invalidated, find people that will validate them, and sit with you in them, while also helping you become aware and express them. There's a lot of power in that. And that's something I've seen my clients see so much success with.

And honestly, I don't want attention, I don't want, I don't even really share my story that often. But this is something that I am so convicted about, because it this idea of holding space for acknowledging what's happening, and even acknowledging that it's not fair, which is totally fine to say, because it's not fair, it really sucks. And it's not fair.

If you've been treated poorly by others, by professionals, it is not fair and that is not okay and it is not your fault. Even if you're doing things that you know, don't make it better, it's not your fault. It's not your fault. And that is okay to sit with that.

It is also okay to sit with yourself and be on your team. It is okay to choose gratitude in certain moments, it is okay to encourage yourself. It is okay. It's okay to be in both. And because I believe that so deeply, I will continue to talk about it. Even if there are a lot of people that don't agree or hear me the wrong way or, you know, attack the thoughts.

In my own experiences, I get attacked a lot for my experiences. And that's okay, because it's worth it. If one person two people find hope in that. And I will not quit fighting for us to do to do it together and for you to be on your bodies team.

So what a way to end a season, then talking about something that is a current thought. It is something I'm processing myself, and it is something I've been processing for the past 10 years. And it's something that I will continue to talk about. But I wanted as our last episode of this season, to just be friends to sit down at a table face to face, or sit down on the phone and just talk through this idea that may challenge some of the thoughts that you currently have. It may encourage you, it may make you mad. And if you want to open dialog and you want to chat about this, like, please do message me, find me on Instagram at erinjudge.rd.

If you want to talk with others in our community, there's so much beauty in hearing other's perspectives. So much because we've all gone through different experiences. And our lives are very different. We have unique perspectives on things. Go to The Gut Community on Facebook and share yours and open that dialogue with others in the community because there's nothing like it. There's nothing like one knowing that you're not alone. But to just having others kind of come beside you as you're working through something.

Shifting gears a little bit as we're looking to season three. Season one was our first podcast where we talked about different topics to really nail down some of the specifics around IBS and in season three we are going to go towards some interviews!

So I am so excited in season three I plan to bring on incredible experts that will be able to share just their zone of genius in the world have the guts in GI health and IBS and other digestive disorders. Just to help you know you gain more knowledge and understanding that you can take with you to your team members and your practitioners. But also some strategies that we can all use and to to live you know holistic balance to life that we're all aiming for.

So expect that season three will be announced through our social channels and our Facebook group. So I will see you in season three and I hope you enjoyed this season! Please let me know what your favorite part of it was and what you're hoping to get out of the next season.